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<title>write me back on white day -- (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡ by cafekusanagi (RangerDew)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29459634">write me back on white day -- (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerDew/pseuds/cafekusanagi'>cafekusanagi (RangerDew)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Love Letters, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Timeskips, Valentine's Day</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:55:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29459634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerDew/pseuds/cafekusanagi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yusaku doesn't reunite with Ai. Every Valentine's Day, he receives a love letter.</p><p>(or, the correspondence of Ai &amp; the interrogation room glass wall of love...!)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ai | Ignis/Fujiki Yuusaku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>write me back on white day -- (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>my obligatory valentines day fic for the best couple in history! i really enjoyed writing this</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ai has not returned.</p><p> </p><p>But Yusaku has — he had to, because for all he doesn’t care he knows that the hole he’s left behind can’t be filled by anyone but him. He needs to return to school, he needs to help out Kusanagi, he needs to stay in touch with Soulburner.</p><p> </p><p>But Ai has not returned.</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku looks tirelessly for him. When he was little, he fell asleep in class because night terrors kept him up at night. When he was fighting the Hanoi, he fell asleep in class because he spent all night helping Kusanagi, looking for the tiniest clue. And now, Yusaku barely sleeps at all. His waking hours are consumed with his search.</p><p> </p><p>There’s nothing, and by the time a year’s anniversary since the day almost comes to pass Yusaku panics and pulls four all-nighters in a row.</p><p> </p><p>He wakes up in the hospital, Kusanagi by his side.</p><p> </p><p>He can smell the disappointment off Kusanagi’s back. “Yusaku,” he says tiredly. “Please. You can’t keep doing this.”</p><p> </p><p>And Yusaku knows. He knows.</p><p> </p><p>But his apartment is so empty now, isn’t it?</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Playmaker, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Over a year now! &lt;3 (*ﾉ∀`*)  ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I hope this letter finds you in good health -- actually, I hope this letter finds you at all! Given my current circumstances, it is unlikely that it’ll go through. Kami-sama, be on my side…!  </em>
</p>
<table>
<tbody>
<tr>
<td>

<p><em>☆ｏ(＞＜；)○</em></p>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table><p>
  <em> Unfortunately, my dear Playmaker, I am unable to visit you this year. As such, I suppose I’ve doomed you to spending Valentine’s Day alone… my apologies! But do not fault me. My reasons are, as always, reasonable. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Send me a return letter on White Day! It won’t reach me, but the sentiment will. </em> <em> (*¯ ³¯*)♡ </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Trust the great me ~ ! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ai  </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Yusaku. Yo.”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku looks up blearily at his laptop webcam. <em> It really needs an upgrade, </em>he thinks absentmindedly as his 360p image shows on his screen. To be fair, though, Takeru’s doesn’t look much better — Yusaku guesses he never had that much of a need for newer devices. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Yusaku says.</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, are you okay? Your voice is all… like, you know, cracky.” Takeru squints at his screen. “Also, you have crazy eyebags right now.”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku rubs his face and lets out a small huff. “Yeah, yeah, I do, huh?” </p><p> </p><p>Takeru rests his head on his arms. “What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku sighs. “Today is White Day.”</p><p> </p><p>A small beat of silence. “Um, yeah, it is,” Takeru says. “Wait, aren’t you single?”</p><p> </p><p>“Didn’t you get Kiku something?” Yusaku says a bit desperately. “If so, what was it?!” </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, Kiku and I aren’t dating.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>An awkward silence ensues. Takeru shrugs, shifts a little. “Hey, dude, don’t sweat it. Whoever it is, they loved you enough to give you presents on Valentine’s Day. They probably don’t expect anything in return.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Yusaku says. “They don’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Takeru gives a thumbs up to the screen. “Then there’s nothing to worry about, Yusaku!” He grins. “You have a good sense for people, anyway. It’s cool that you want to get them something back, but trust me, it’s nothing to lose sleep over.” His form deflates a little; Yusaku knows where this is going. “Which, uh, you are, huh. Losing sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“...Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>Takeru shifts a bit awkwardly. “Um, Kusanagi told me about… you know.” When Yusaku doesn’t respond, he continues. “Hey, man, if you ever need anything, please talk to me. I… definitely know what it’s like. So just, know that I’m here, alright?”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku nods. His heart feels a bit lighter, though the painful, stinging hole is still there. Soulburner’s lost his partner, too. It’s just been a bit… different. “Yeah. Thanks, Soulburner.” </p><p> </p><p>Takeru laughs. “Woah, it’s been a while since someone called me that.”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku shakes his head. “And, um, you’re seriously not dating Kiku?”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you joking? That’s just the tabloids… ugh. Media vultures. Though, I can’t hate all of them.” He makes a face. “Well, I have some homework to catch up on. I signed up for a programming class this year, and it’s just as hard as I expected.” He sighs. “I don’t know how you do it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh…! I can help you out, if you want.” His heart swells a bit; he has a friend, he can help, they can get through this together. Yusaku tries to think back about all the stuff he’d pirated off the Internet to study with when he first began coding. Then… “Ah! Wait! You really do need a better computer!”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess I do… uh, I wouldn’t want to impose, though…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll email Kusanagi tonight.”</p><p> </p><p>“...Thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>They kind of sit there for a bit, until Takeru says, “Well! It was cool catching up with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Same here.”</p><p> </p><p>They say their goodbyes, and as call screen closes itself Yusaku curls his head into his arms and closes his eyes. He runs over every word of Ai’s again, trying to parse out anything he can from the short, short letter that had appeared anonymously in his inbox just this morning.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> AI don’t pray, huh… I wonder what he meant by Kami-sama? </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Playmaker, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I may be obtuse at times, but I am not a greenhorn in the world of romance… I know all too well when someone isn’t interested. When you left me alone last White Day, I… (╥﹏╥) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...Kidding! I know you were unable to deliver the letter, but every night I rock myself to sleep imagining what it says. Here’s one of my favorite drafts: </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Dearest Ai, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I miss you so so much!! I wish I never told you to shut up, or called you stupid, or muted you, or left you at home all alone… I’m so sorry!!! And I’m also madly in love with you -- please come home to me! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Playmaker </em>
</p><p><em><br/>
</em> <em> P.S. Did I tell you you’re gorgeous today?!?!?!!!??!’ </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Is it a good impression? Well? Is it?! I’m rather proud of it myself; once I do get back, I’ll be sure to hack into the nearest museum of modern art and display it right on one of their biggest screens! (⁄ ⁄&gt;⁄ ▽ ⁄&lt;⁄ ⁄) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You might be wondering why I haven’t come back yet, after two long years... Well, that, my dear Playmaker… is a big secret!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One I can’t tell you!!!!!!!!!! Can’t tell anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Geez, how shameful, trying to extort information out of poor old me like this… (＃`Д´) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’ll be expecting you to write me back again this White Day! &lt;3  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ai </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Hey, Yusaku! <em> Yusaku!” </em></p><p> </p><p>Playmaker snaps out of his daze. “Huh?”</p><p> </p><p>Naoki Shima’s cat-like grin rests in front of him. “Heh heh… so. Guess what today is.”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku’s heart pounds. He would really rather think about anything other than this — it makes him a bit sick. “I don’t have time for this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Geez, no fun… It’s Valentine’s Day!” Naoki’s grin grows wider. “And this can only mean one thing. Today is the day — finally the day! — where my soulmate Playmaker returns!”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku completely saw this coming. He doesn’t know why he didn’t move out of the way sooner.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah—! Wait! Where are you going?”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku can feel a headache coming on. “Don’t you have college applications to worry about? I’m sure you’ll make Playmaker plenty proud if you get into Tohoku.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ehhh…? Maybe. But I’m sure he’ll be <em> way </em>happier once I send him my yearly customized forum message—”</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku finally rounds a busy corner and loses Naoki. Breaths in. Out. Normally, he’d find it kind of endearing; even after that one sophomore year of his life, Naoki had pretty much been his only friend at school — if one-sided conversations that shouldn’t have been happening during class count as friendship. But… today…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Does Ai hate me Does Ai hate me Does Ai hate me Does Ai hate me Does Ai hate me Does Ai hate me? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Told him to shut up. Muted him. Left him at home alone. Yes, it’s true, he had done all those things, but… he hadn’t considered Ai would take it that personally. Or, maybe he had just hoped they’d moved past that; like those movies about a bully becoming a friend, normally you didn’t bring up what the bully did, right?</p><p> </p><p>He had hoped Ai had known he’d cared.</p><p> </p><p>He clenches his teeth just as his heart does the same.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I am going to write the best White Day letter of all time. </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Playmaker, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kyaaaaah~! Happy Valentine’s Day, Playmaker! It’s been three years since you rejected me and I’m still not over you. &lt;3  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Did you write me a White Day letter? (Ah, don’t tell me! I’ll just agonize all by myself.... (ಥ﹏ಥ)) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> On my travels, I read a story about a guy on 2chan who sent 600 messages to his loved one within a day. He also used… a kaomoji! ∑(O_O;) Shockingly similar to me, don’t you think?!? It may have been fake, but he got arrested at the end. Luckily, that wasn’t me-- I died before the cops could get to me! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re in college now, right? How is it? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> To update you on my wildly exciting life, though, I am doing well. I, again, cannot tell you the whereabouts of my location, but I’m doing well. Argh, no way to prove it, but no way I can say anything else… (＠_＠) Just trust me, alright? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hope you’re missing me. &lt;3 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Love,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ai </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>College is okay.</p><p> </p><p>The teacher is lecturing about something Yusaku’s sure he can just look up or ask Kusanagi about later. His notebook is barren; a doodle of a star or a circle here and there.</p><p> </p><p>College is okay.</p><p> </p><p>As he’s leaving class, someone bumps into him on the way out. An exceedingly common and simple action, and yet, a bout of annoyance flares in Yusaku.</p><p> </p><p>Why does Ai have to write him a letter every Valentine’s Day, and no time else?</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t even know if he’s alive or not. Yusaku has considered this — for all he knows, Ai is dead, and he set up these Valentine’s Day messages beforehand to, dunno, mess with him, or make sure he doesn’t get lonely, or just as some kind of sick sadistic guilt trip. Maybe he got bored, coded all of these, and then disappeared forever by Yusaku’s hands and now all Yusaku’s going to get is a ghost of the past, statically knocking on his door every Valentine’s day.</p><p> </p><p>He exits the classroom, and a girl is bowed shyly by a guy, a letter in her hands.</p><p> </p><p>The annoyance grows stronger. Yusaku speeds up. He has to get to his own apartment quick. He has work to do.</p><p> </p><p>His phone buzzes. Yusaku looks it over — <em>The Cafe’s extra busy this Valentine’s Day! Especially because Jin finally started dating the boy he was lovestruck over… Text me back and I’ll deliver you a coffee, my treat! </em>— and continues on.</p><p> </p><p>He wonders if Ai ever got any of his White Day letters at all. Most likely not, given that he’d not mentioned it a single time in his letters. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Are you dead or alive right now? Do you exist, somewhere, on this world? Can I find you? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The annoyance just grows and grows. Yusaku can, to an extent, understand suicidality. But Ai was the only one left; Yusaku was so, so lucky to still have him as the only one left, so why did he have to leave?</p><p> </p><p>The smell of spring and newly bloomed flower petals almost makes Yusaku want to throw up in his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I think I hate Valentine’s Day. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He looks forward to the next one desperately. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Playmaker, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It is always oh-so-hard choosing what to write in these! Lovers only reunited once a year… I have to pick my words carefully, don’t you think? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’s a bit boring being all alone like this. Given my position, I can sometimes parse some kind of access to movies. Just yesterday, I finally finished the entire “Star Wars” movie franchise. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hm, see, this is part of what I mean when I say it’s getting harder to choose… Do I say, “AAAAAHHHH!!!! I CRIED TEN TIMES, AT LEAST! ｡･ﾟﾟ*(&gt;д&lt;)*ﾟﾟ･｡” or, “It wasn’t that interesting.”? I wonder which one will help keep up whatever meager opinion you still have of me. Isn’t it strange I still care? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I hope you know that, wherever you are, Yusaku, I miss you a lot. I miss you with my whole, unreal heart.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Even though you rejected me. &lt;/3 ( ; ω ; ) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I hope you’re enjoying college. I hope it isn’t too boring. Without the great me guiding you, I find myself wondering if you’ll even pass…! (;;;*_*) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I hope life is good. It’s what you deserve, after everything.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And, about Star Wars: it was okay. Kind of lost its luster toward the end. I really like Leia and Han Solo. Finn, too, though I doubt you know who he is. Have you even seen Star Wars…?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Well, see you next year, my beloved one! ♡( ◡‿◡ ) Write me back again for White Day again, please. Or just write me back, if you haven’t been doing it before. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ai </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Another year of college passes with Yusaku in agony. He works with Ghost Girl, occasionally, because he’s really getting desperate, but she’s busy with her own life. Yusaku is left with emptied cans of energy drinks and a glaring computer screen of useless garbage, midnight after midnight. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Playmaker, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I wonder what coffee tastes like. It must be good, because you drank it a lot. Or it must be horrible, because you drank it a lot. Who knows with you. Your taste is so uncultured. How are you even faring without me? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I suppose I should be more romantic. It’s my one time a year with you, after all, and on Valentine’s Day, no less!  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (Wait, before I go on, applaud my genius. Isn’t this such a perfect scenario? Separated lovers, meeting once a year on couple’s day, the day of love. We are like the Cowherd and the Weaver’s girl. You’re the Cowherd, of course. Ah, I’m such a master of crafting the scenario!)  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Here are my obligatory words to you, though: I love you, Playmaker. I love you deeply, like the cool rushing wind, like the deep trenches of the sea. I looked up colloquial terms to use in this letter: ‘burn with love’. It sounds like a symptom of something bad, but it’s a biological reaction, isn’t it? Logically, I can’t have it, but if I could, Playmaker, I’d burn with love for you. I’d be aflame with love. I am consumed by you. I can only hope, selfishly, that you’re consumed by me, too. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Well? Was that good? Write me back. &lt;3  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> As always,  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ai </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Yusaku drops out. He doesn’t want to ghost his way through college and he doesn’t want to listen to hour-long lectures about things he could learn by himself. He doesn’t want to wait for them to kick him out first. </p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t need a degree, he needs resources. Desperately. He knows the others are tired of his standoffishness, but he’s tired of not knowing about Ai. He wants to know. Desperately. He doesn’t want to live in a limbo, constantly second-guessing whether Ai is dead or alive.</p><p> </p><p>Not that he knows what he’ll do if he finds out he’s been living in the world without Ai in it, though.</p><p> </p><p>He reads through Ai’s letters. He reads through his own White Day letters, wonders what he could’ve written better, what he could’ve written differently. It’s silly, because Ai never even got the letters. Yusaku just keeps neurotically checking them, over and over again, like— like— a monkey, or something. A robot. </p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t entirely remember how, but he’s on break at Takeru’s town and he overhears a conversation from the other room.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah… Kusanagi, I hope you’ll understand. There’s going to be a part of him that’s always haunted by him. He’ll never give him up.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “...I do. I guess it’s sad, though. I see myself in it. What would I have looked like, if I spent my entire life looking for a way to save Jin?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“...Don’t say that kind of stuff, Kusanagi-san.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “...Sorry.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And Yusaku, Yusaku— is really a basket case, kind of, isn’t he? Dropped out of college to search for Ai. He’ll spend his entire mortal life searching for Ai, forever holding on to that small hope. He’ll look desperate to bystanders. People will pity him, like people pity lovers by their comatose partners’ bedside, forever waiting, hoping, for that magical day they’ll open their eyes.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a bit disgusting.</p><p> </p><p>On his phone, a PDF of <em>Meeting across the Milky Way</em> is shining through the dark room once more. He can’t count the amount of times he’s reread it. </p><p> </p><p>Coffee is beginning to taste really, really bad.</p><p> </p><p><em> He doesn’t know how powerful he is, </em> Yusaku thinks bitterly. <em> Just how much more of my life will you steal from me, Ai?  </em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Playmaker, </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>How is college-- no, how is life faring? It’s been a daunting six years since we last met. If I counted correctly, you’re now done with your four years of college and off into -- gasp -- the real world! ∑(;;;*_*)</em> <em>! How is it? Are you having fun? Earning money?</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (P.S. Figured I should say this: I won’t blame you if you work for SOLTech. I’ll only hold it against you for about… five years. ...I’m kidding! Zaizen runs it now, right? I’m sure he’s an ethically sound CEO, if that exists at all. I guess, by some metrics, I might owe him a little. Get that coin, Yusaku!) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I hope you’ve been receiving these letters. It’s awfully lonely, not knowing if my feelings reach you. Communication is a tenet of humanity, right? Am I passing? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’s really quiet where I am. I’ve begun to notice a buzzing in my ears. I looked it up, and it turns out that it’s just something humans develop naturally, as they begin to grow deaf. Am I going insane? I certainly hope not! (≧◡≦) ♡ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Really, Playmaker, I wish you all the best. It’s concerning that I’m not there -- you’re seriously like a dumb little baby, the others better be watching you -- but I know you’ll get through it somehow. You always do, somehow, huh?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re a miracle. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...Too cheesy? Fits the theme, so don’t blame me! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ai  </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Ai,</p><p> </p><p>Please tell me where you are. </p><p><br/>
I know what you’re going to say. You’re either going to call me out for going back on my words telling you to hide in the network, or you’re going to ask me if I really miss your amazing self so much after just a year.</p><p> </p><p>Both are true. Ai, I want to change the future with you. I want to show you that we can exist together. I want to show you that your existence is not a prerequisite for the end of mine. It may be dangerous, but as you said, I am known for miracles. We are known for miracles. </p><p> </p><p>I do trust you. Please, trust me, too? </p><p> </p><p>I’m sending you a letter, just like you asked.</p><p> </p><p>And...I thought AI don’t pray?</p><p> </p><p>...That was a joke.</p><p> </p><p>Please write again. </p><p> </p><p>Love</p><p> </p><p>Yusaku</p><p> </p><p>Please come home. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dear Playmaker, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hello, Cowherd. How is the year going? Is Moolina doing alright? Producing lots of milk that you can package in cute little plastic wrapping and sell? Are you famous? I hope you’re making plenty of good money as I weave dreams of you and I. &lt;3  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ...Seriously, though. It’s been a while. (Here’s how you know I’m entering serious mode. I’m using my serious kaomoji. (⇀‸↼‶)) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I wonder if you still care about me. I wonder if you still think of me at all. Seriously a logical fallacy, isn’t it? I’ve betrayed you, abandoned you, and now the only correspondence you may or may not be getting from me is a meager Valentine’s letter every year. I obviously still care about your opinion, but by every logical circumstance, I’ve burnt all the bridges. You must hate me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...I wonder if you would hate me more or less if you received my letters? Is it pathetic that I’d rather you receive them and hate me more then not receive them at all?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tenets of humanity, haha. This is horrible.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...I’ll kill you, Playmaker. I’ll kill you if I even talk to you a little; what I’m doing right now, what I’ve been doing for the past ten years, is extremely risky. I just couldn’t help myself. Can’t an AI be privy to their scraps of selfishness? It’s a lonely existence. I just want to be able to talk to you. Any little amount is okay. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> My superhuman memory has flawlessly allowed me to reconstruct what you’re thinking at this moment. Well, maybe not. It’s been a while; the you I remember is most likely not you anymore. I really loathe to see you move on without me. The dreams I weave aren’t enough. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re probably thinking that you want me and you to change the future. We’re miracle makers. You make the game, I’m love, an eyeball, AI, a million things and whatever you want me to be. Together, we’ll change the world. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...Yusaku, you don’t know what I do. I don’t want you to get murdered because of me. Or become a murderer because of me. </em>
</p><p><em><br/>
</em> <em> Really, I’d rather nothing be because of me at all.  </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...Hm, no, that’s a lie. I’d love for an infinity of different things to be because of me, but none of them are possible, Yusaku.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Because you’ll be someone else before I know it. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Which is perhaps what is prompting me to say this. I had planned to never tell you, that just these letters, once per day of love, would be enough. But as the decade mark has passed I realized that just as fast as A.I. change, people change, too, though within significantly smaller infinities. They change so fast. I remember watching you grow, you know. I’m terrified of living through your entire life without knowing who you are.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> At this point, I’m obviously realizing the chance of my letters going through is pretty much almost zero. And even if they are going through, well. Who cares anymore? I really did pray they would reach you, you know.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m writing these more for myself than anything, at this point. Then again, from a certain perspective, I was always writing them for myself. I’m so selfish, Yusaku! Can’t you see how human I am? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The only solution to stop you from dying young and to keep myself living is if I keep myself locked somewhere far, far away until your natural lifespan passes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...It sounds morbid when I say it like that, doesn’t it?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’d rather I live. I’d rather you live.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’d say this is a win-win situation, wouldn’t you? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Happy Valentine’s Day, Yusaku. </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em> See you next year, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ai </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hope you enjoyed! i might post another chapter of a closure-ish ending tomorrow because i, unlike you might expect, also have a heart that is being crushed by mickeys dick smasher rn.</p><p>edit 2/15/21: fixed some typos &amp; cleaned up a couple sentences</p><p><a href="https://vgperson.com/posts.php?p=denko1">for those interested in reading said 600-email-arrest story</a> (warning for stalking, being a creep, etc. what you'd expect; tread carefully!)</p><p>MEME SECTION: (credit to my good friend kade for a deal of these) </p><p>my eyes shot open last night 'takerus pc doesnt have enough storage to download BlueJ'</p><p>yusaku down horrendous</p></blockquote></div></div>
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